ironbite: (Sweetness)
2013-06-10 07:45 pm

Doing something I haven't done in so long....

Posting here.

Yeah been a loooooooooooooooooong time. Why? Because I have other outlets. But today I realized a very important fact about myself.

I don't matter.

And before you go, "oh that's not true Ironbite," when was the last time anyone actually talked to me? I mean really talked to me. The answer, painful as it is to admit, is ages. Nobody talks to me. Nobody tries to see what's behind the mask I present to the world. Nobody goes "So how was your day" outside of my parents. Why?

Because I don't matter.

I'm a support network for other people. An ear to listen to other people's problems. A mouth to say things to make sure other people feel better. But the second I try to utter a peep that things aren't ok with myself? I get nothing. Why?

Because I don't matter at all.

I really don't. I tried, I really did try, to get somebody to notice that I wasn't ok on twitter this morning. Of the 100-odd real people who follow me...2 people said something in response. And it wasn't, "are you ok man?" or anything. Just platitudes. And I've found myself locked in my own head wondering why. I can only come to one conclusion.

I don't matter.

Why don't I matter? Why is it that every time I try to figure out if I'm worth keeping around I always come to the same god damn conclusion? Why is it that I can't ever get anyone to notice that hey, something might be wrong with my brain? Am I depressed? Do I, like millions of other people suffer from depression? Probably. But I've been handling myself so well since the big break up. But have I? I ask myself that a lot. And then I try to reach out to other people and I see...nothing. Why is that?

Because I don't matter.

Nothing I can do can matter because I don't matter. I'm nothing. Not even a reflection anymore. Just something that throttles down misery and loneliness into a compact little ball until....this happens. I just want to matter to somebody. I really do. Is that something that I just can't be? Can I matter to someone? I don't think so. I really don't. I'm going to predict this gets nothing, absolutely nothing because that's how it is. I don't matter. I really don't. The only one I matter to is my cat and even then I'm easily replaced in her mind. I just want someone to hear me for once in my life. But I know nobody else will hear me. Because I don't matter. And nothing's going to change that fact. Not the most helpful doctors, not the latest meds, nothing. I don't matter and why I die, I'll be alone. Unmourned by everyone save family.

Because I don't...matter.
ironbite: (Default)
2012-09-07 07:05 pm

THE GREAT SKYRIM ADVENTURE!

So had a lot of things happen lately. Mostly found out that the Thalmor are a bunch of idiots and the sooner I kill all of them the better. Also the leader of the Greybeards is a Dragon? I must say I was really surprised. Mostly because he didn't try to KILL ME when he first saw me. And somehow I've been able to get the Blades back together and they're urging me to recruit for them. Yeah think I won't be doing that much.

All in all things are as quiet in Skyrim as I can make them. What with me being the Dragonborn of course. Heh. Think I need to go hunt down a few more dragons then see what the college of Winterhold wants. They've got this big floating ball in there that I just don't trust.
ironbite: (Default)
2012-09-04 08:29 pm

THE GREAT SKYRIM ADVENTURE!

And I'm married now. Yeah. After a series of events that lead to me becoming the Harbringer of the Companions, I decided to tie the knot. Can't drag me back to Black Marsh if I'm already married huh? My new wife is also a werewolf, Asla the Huntress. A sweet gal who's actually set up her own shop. Isn't that neat? Also she teaches me how to shoot a bow every once and a while. Usually between matings. Yes matings. It's even odds what our kids are gonna be. Argonian, Nord, or wolf cub. Lydia keeps threatening to go back to Dragonsreach unless we keep it down. I just ignore her.

Also got a new friend in a former priestess of Azura. I did a turn for Azura in purging her star of some necromancer or something and now I get a Dark Elf spell slinger to haul around. Ain't that neat? Also another dragon attacked me out of nowhere while I was retrieving some books for the mages collage at Winterhold. Starting to think there's some truth behind me being the Dragonborn.
ironbite: (Default)
2012-09-02 12:42 pm

THE GREAT SKYRIM ADVENTURE!

So I killed another dragon priest, go me. And I now have a very interesting weapon called Dawnbreaker. It's kinda cool that it sets things on fire. Also its a major Daedric artifact and I can't wait to impale people on it. Oh and I'm a Werewolf.

Not sure how that happened but it did so I'm gonna roll with it. Sorry Black Marsh, don't think I'll be coming home anytime soon.
ironbite: (Default)
2012-08-31 10:42 pm

THE GREAT SKYRIM ADVENTURE!

So somehow...I'm a member of the Dark Brotherhood. I'm not sure how it happened but it did. And all it took was me killing some old crone who was abusing some orphans. And some cat guy. Yeah that was awesome. Seriously being kidnapped while my HOUSECARL WAS WATCHING ME SLEEP WAS GREAT! THANKS LYDIA!

But yeah now I'm an assassin and get to go around killing people. I think it'll be great! I wanna go home now.
ironbite: (Default)
2012-08-28 05:01 pm

Ironbite Character Journal Entry 3

So uh...I'm not sure how it happened or why it happened but somehow I got caught up with one of the Daedric Princes. I mean I just stopped in an inn in Whiterun to have a pint, got caught up in a drinking contest with some guy who turned out to be Sanguine and he lead me on a wild night of debauchery and...things I don't want to contemplate and left me to wake up somewhere in the Rift. I'm just....flabbergasted that Lydia said and did nothing to stop me. So to atone for myself, I've become a Companion. And they're werewolves. Starting to think having my head cut off might not have been a bad thing. Also thinking about going home to the Black Marsh. A forced marriage isn't that bad...is it?
ironbite: (Default)
2012-08-20 12:16 pm

THE GREAT SKYRIM ADVENTURE!

So I'm something called the Dragonborn now. Yeah seems I'm able to shout really really loud and make people and other things...fly away. Oh and I've got a Housecarl named Lydia now. She doesn't seem to care that I'm using her as a beast of burdan, always a plus. So after fighting off another dragon and proving to some idiots called the Greybeards I am the Dragonborn, I'm in Winterhold trying to learn magic. And now I'm on a field trip with a bunch of other idiots too. Should be fun.

Oh and Giants can kiss my tail.
ironbite: (Default)
2012-08-18 09:35 pm

THE GREAT SKYRIM ADVENTURE!

Day 1:  Woke up with a pounding headache in a cart with my hands bound.  Was told I had been arrested by the Empire.  Again.  Guess trying to cross the border didn't work out too well.  Oh well a little jail time doesn't hurt and maybe I can get a cool tat.  But I guess my luck wasn't with me because I was told I was gonna be executed.  Yeah.  For border crossing.  How...fair.

Anyways we get to the town of Helgan, nice place by the way, and are lead in front of an Imperial Tower.  Also I found out that I was riding with Ulfric Stormcloak, the High King of the Nords.  Whatever that means.  I tried to reason with the guard captain but she must've been on the rag because she wasn't listening.  Even killed a horse theif who tried to run.  Seriously nobody should ever give a woman power.  So after they killed a Stormcloak, it was my turn.  Because, why not.  When suddenly a dragon appeared and just wrecked the whole damn place.  Seriously this thing just messed up the town.  After all was said and done, I had an interesting dilemma.  Weather or not to murder every Imperial soilder I came across.  I choose to kill them all and take their stuff starting with that annoying Guard Captain.  Yeah.

Starting to think I'm the master of my own destiny again.  
ironbite: (Default)
2012-08-18 03:56 pm
Entry tags:

*blows dust off this thing*

Missed me?  I know I did.  Yeah still alive.  Broke up with Joy because she was a liar and moved back home with the folks.  As for why I'm back to using this...well I got Skyrim.  And it occured to me that while I can't do a Let's Play because everyone's done that, I can do a character journal.  So look out for the Character Journal of Ironbite, the Dragonborn.

Should be fun
ironbite: (Default)
2012-05-12 06:09 pm

Colbert

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] gregx at Colbert
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] shinga at Colbert
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] mountain_hiker at Colbert


ironbite: (Default)
2012-01-23 10:55 pm

post

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] cantarina1 at post
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] electricdruid at The fiasco continues

ACTA in a Nutshell –

What is ACTA?  ACTA is the Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement. A new intellectual property enforcement treaty being negotiated by the United States, the European Community, Switzerland, and Japan, with Australia, the Republic of Korea, New Zealand, Mexico, Jordan, Morocco, Singapore, the United Arab Emirates, and Canada recently announcing that they will join in as well.

Why should you care about ACTA? Initial reports indicate that the treaty will have a very broad scope and will involve new tools targeting “Internet distribution and information technology.”

What is the goal of ACTA? Reportedly the goal is to create new legal standards of intellectual property enforcement, as well as increased international cooperation, an example of which would be an increase in information sharing between signatory countries’ law enforcement agencies.

Essential ACTA Resources

  • Read more about ACTA here: ACTA Fact Sheet
  • Read the authentic version of the ACTA text as of 15 April 2011, as finalized by participating countries here: ACTA Finalized Text
  • Follow the history of the treaty’s formation here: ACTA history
  • Read letters from U.S. Senator Ron Wyden wherein he challenges the constitutionality of ACTA: Letter 1 | Letter 2 | Read the Administration’s Response to Wyden’s First Letter here: Response
  • Watch a short informative video on ACTA: ACTA Video
  • Watch a lulzy video on ACTA: Lulzy Video

Say NO to ACTA. It is essential to spread awareness and get the word out on ACTA.

Via Tumblr



This entry was also posted at http://cantarina.dreamwidth.org/131889.html. (comments: comment count unavailable)
ironbite: (Default)
2011-12-12 04:13 pm

BAD Internet Laws Heading Your Way

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] write_light at BAD Internet Laws Heading Your Way

From the flist: 



Spread the word, even you're not a US citizen, it is important for everyone!! It easy to do and it can change everything. More info by clicking on the banner.

Website Blocking

The government can order service providers to block websites for infringing links posted by any users.

Risk of Jail for Ordinary Users

It becomes a felony with a potential 5 year sentence to stream a copyrighted work that would cost more than $2,500 to license, even if you are a totally noncommercial user, e.g. singing a pop song on Facebook.

Chaos for the Internet

Thousands of sites that are legal under the DMCA would face new legal threats. People trying to keep the internet more secure wouldn't be able to rely on the integrity of the DNS system.


Read this analysis from boing-boing.net

Get on the phone and call your representative. Express your disapproval. Tell him or her exactly how you feel, and that you don't support this. Tell your friends to call their representatives, their Congressperson, and complain. Mention that you are a registered voter that takes your civic responsibility seriously and that you will use that vote to express your feelings about this.

http://www.rollcall.com/issues/57_60/Internet-Companies-Boost-Hill-Lobbying-210345-1.html?pos=olobh

“We support the bill’s stated goals — providing additional enforcement tools to combat foreign ‘rogue’ websites that are dedicated to copyright infringement or counterfeiting,” the Internet companies wrote in Tuesday’s letter. “Unfortunately, the bills as drafted would expose law-abiding U.S. Internet and technology companies to new uncertain liabilities, private rights of action and technology mandates that would require monitoring of websites.”  The chamber-led coalition in support of the bill includes Walmart, Eli Lilly & Co. and Netflix.

Google and other opponents of the legislation argue that restricting the Internet in the U.S. sets a bad international precedent and that the language defines infringing too broadly.

SIGN AND FORWARD THESE PETITIONS

American Censorship
Whitehouse Petition
Fight For the Future
DemandProgress
Save the Internet

ironbite: (Default)
2011-08-04 02:45 pm

Signal Boost: Return of the DDoS

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] deathpixie at Signal Boost: Return of the DDoS
For those wanting to know more about the recent DDoS attacks, yes, it looks like it was the Russian government trying to shut down the dissidents again.

As I said last time, while it's frustrating not to have access, LJ is a lot more than a social network platform. From the article:

"LiveJournal isn’t just a social network. It’s also a platform for organizing civic action. Dozens of network projects and groups mobilize people to solve specific problems — from defending the rights of political prisoners to saving endangered historic architecture in Moscow."

So while I know many are considering the move over to Dreamwidth and other such sites, supporting LJ is a way we can help support those who use it for more than a writing/roleplaying/social venue.


Also, as a FYI, LJ is giving paid users effected by the outage two weeks of paid time as compensation.


ironbite: (Default)
2011-03-18 09:35 pm

...WTF.

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] lavenderfrost at ...WTF.
Well, there goes my good mood for the day.

NYTimes, the bastion of quality reporting, reported on the gang-rape of an 11 year-old girl in Texas  that's led to charges against 18 high-school boys so far - all well and good so far, right?  Shit like this NEEDS publicity to raise awareness. 

Only problem is, they repeated - without refutation or critical commentary - the claims that the girl brought the rape on herself because of the way she was dressed.

Choice Quotes (No cut b/c everyone needs to see this - DEAL.):

“It’s just destroyed our community,” said Sheila Harrison, 48, a hospital worker who says she knows several of the defendants. “These boys have to live with this the rest of their lives.  As opposed to the victim, who's gonna bounce back lickety-fucking-split, right?

Residents in the neighborhood where the abandoned trailer stands — known as the Quarters — said the victim had been visiting various friends there for months. They said she dressed older than her age, wearing makeup and fashions more appropriate to a woman in her 20s. She would hang out with teenage boys at a playground, some said.  TOTALLY BEGGING FOR IT.

THIS IS RAPE CULTURE, PEOPLE.

Now, what's being said and done in this community is bad enough, but the NY Times should be fucking ashamed of themselves right now.

Here's how to contact NYT: )

ironbite: (Default)
2011-01-01 02:45 am

Happy new year folks...

Hopefully I'll make more then...2 posts in a year. I hope.

SEE YA'LL ON THE INTERWEBS!
ironbite: (Default)
2010-11-24 12:41 pm

Wow is this thing dusty

Uh...just saying hey and...uh....

*runs away*
ironbite: (Cutie)
2010-01-06 06:49 pm

Stolen by people.

India Foxtrot Yankee Oscar Uniform Charlie Alpha November Uniform November Delta Echo Romeo Sierra Tango Alpha November Delta Tango Hotel India Sierra, Charlie Oscar Papa Yankee Alpha November Delta Papa Alpha Sierra Tango Echo India Tango Tango Oscar Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Lima India Victor Echo Juliet Oscar Uniform Romeo November Alpha Lima.0:) Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Mike Echo Mike Echo

FIGURE IT OUT!
ironbite: (I'm PSYCHIC!)
2009-12-24 02:12 pm

I'll see your santa memes...

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

In November I bought porn for [livejournal.com profile] puppettheatre (10 points). In September I gave [livejournal.com profile] nacadas a kidney (1000 points). In July I donated bone marrow to [livejournal.com profile] poptartodoom in a life-saving procedure (300 points). Last week I gave change to a homeless guy (19 points). Last Wednesday I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points).

Overall, I've been nice (1321 points). For Christmas I deserve a wedgie!

Sincerely,
ironbite

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:


A FUCKING WEGIE!?
ironbite: (Cutie)
2009-12-24 12:57 am

Well it's that time of year again....

It's my birthday folks. Also...*blows dust off lj account*

Sorry for the lack of posts folks....just haven't had much to say. so there ya go. Hopefully I'll be posting more. If not...uh....yeah!
ironbite: (Default)
2009-06-25 01:37 am

Ironbite's Obligitory Revenge of the Fallen Post

Now...Ironbite's impression of Chester A. Bum....

OH MY GOD THIS WAS THE GREATEST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!

Now a more indepth review.....

Spoliers everybody dies )

All in all, it was an enjoyable film. On par with the first movie? At the very least. Will a third film capitilize on this film's momentum? I think so.

Ironbite-a 9....out of 10.